Friday, July 14, 2017

Aflame.


Feeling vulnerable, again.
Perhaps, this happens a lot with open , and these days, I have vowed to myself, no matter what, I should keep her open. Well, it took a life time to reach here, I don’t want it to be any other way.

Restlessness, gushing like Goddess Ganga when she first cascaded down on to the earth with Rishi Bhagiratha’s wish – Wild, erratic, un-stoppable, with her primitiveness lashing out, swaying, dancing, then came Shiva. He tied her with his dreadlocks to tame her. Tell me, what would humble me?

This mind. (- Advaita)
This body.
This heart. (- Anahata Nad)
This consciousness.

Everything is elsewhere, somewhere between that eternal spring and the heat that sets me ablaze, 
making me - AFLAME.

Where am I? Exactly where I supposed to be, alas! But physically I am here. What is there for me here? Am Absent.
I *thought* I could hold it together, then came new moon, Buddha Purnima (May, 2017) received a message, then Guru Purnima  - last Saturday(July, 2017). What is this energy? Why? How will I deal with it? Again, and again and again? What I am seeking is seeking me, says Rumi. I love the Mystic. I love his drunken words, making an eloquent poem. Now God, I ask - Help me. Guide me, So that I could save me, rescue me.
what I resist, comes back stronger a 1000000 times. I resist that too, but this... I haven't learnt it all. I am learning – "I am THAT, I am". For now, I am still…not THAT.

I am yearning to become aware of this moment as each second is being witnessed.
I am not the thinker of the thoughts, If I am, I’d know what my next thought would be/should be.

My Heart is on Fire, My love.
What do you want me to do?

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