Thursday, August 20, 2009

:)


It is done!! It is soooooooooo done.. sooooo much done with all that melancholy And I have never been so happy for what I have decided. I knew what I wanted, what I alwayz wanted still I let things go haywire just when the moment arrived at my doorstep. I was panic struck.. and stayed there in panic room for a very looooong time.. I hated it, I wanted to get out of it but it was like a mirage.. so impossible, so painful, like something was continuously choking me.

Now I realize how easily people get fooled by their own confusions, by their own insecurities, by their own perceptions...aw!! It is all between heart and mind, nevertheless time and again it is been proven deep down emotions are so strong that no matter how practical a person might be, gotta sit down and listen to what heart speaks.. What heart shouts (.. filmly? never mind I love it :)) Worked for me.. Worked wonders indeed :) (Cant stop smiling :) :) :) )

" Life is exactly what you make out of it " - Am a strong believer in this, still somewhere in the journey being busy making excuses, setting priorities, judging others I completely lost track of my belief; lost all the faith; damn! Not anything which is inexistent weird, could happen with anybody living in this 21st century civilization. It was a reminder- I Am no exception (thank GOD for this). Glad that before it was too late am back to where I ought to be. I do not have too much awareness in farsightedness, yet if I focus a lil bit in that, am in a very comfortable position with the DECISION I have made.Sunshine is back in my life, sleep is (almost) back, smiles are back :) :) :) Feels like life is back in life ;)

Bt the by, the whole thingy('thingy' - Lack of vocabulary) doesn’t revolve around "I" "ME" "MYSELF" A zillion thankz to my friends, my hi-bye friends, my very good friends, my best friends, my mom, my sis, my bro all my folks, my philosophers, all those whom I came across going thru this SH*T. I know it was thru talks, thru visits, thru phone calls, thru mails, thru chat across the continents from Australia to far west I have had pedagogy, I have had guidelines, I have had chiding/life lessons you name it!! I thank all of you :) Thankz a ton. Love ya all
Muauuauaauh :)


Monday, July 6, 2009

@#$#^$&Awaiting the DeCi$ion Day..#$%#$&%^*(







The best and easiest thing to do..in today's life is 'google'.. day in and day out, we google n no. times.. with or without a real BIG reason. No wonder we say "World is just a CLICK away" .. :) So even i googled.. for a very good reason..a very needy reason.. (In continuation with the decision thingy..) so with all the CLICKs this is what google wanted to say.. I managed to jot it down..
Gotta know yourself 1st..
Ben Stein: The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.
Roy Disney: It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.
“I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.”Eleanor Roosevelt

Make up your mind.. which wanders more than a monkey...
William Joseph Slim - When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take - choose the bolder.
Robert Collier: Mind is all that counts. You can be whatever you make up your mind to be.
Look around..take your chances.. make a choice
Choices are the hinges of destiny. ~Attributed to both Edwin Markham and Pythagoras
Life is the sum of all your choices. ~Albert CamusDecision time
The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn. ~David Russell
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. ~Flora Whittemore
“Some choices we live not only once but a thousand times over, remembering them for the rest of our lives.”Richard Bach

You better decide for yourself.. it is YOUR life after all.. else..%$^*&)(_)&%^^#%
Jim Rohn: If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.
Theodore f:In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
Erica Jong: Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.
William James: There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision.

Decision time.. The most hardest of all..
Agnes DeMille: No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.
“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”Keri Russell
“I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.”Maya Angelou
“Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery.”H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“Quick decisions are unsafe decisions.”Sophocles
“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision.”Anthony Robbins
Napoleon Bonaparte: Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide
“Every man gotta right to decide his own destiny.”Bob Marley

Once u decide, standby it for ever and ever...
Peter Marshall:Give to us clear vision that we may know where to stand and what to stand for - because unless we stand for something, we shall fall for anything.
Helen Keller: We can do anything we want as long as we stick to it long enough.
“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
Bob Moawad
Awaiting THIS day..

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Deci$ion$ Define De$tinY








"It's in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped" - Anthony Hopkins says so! But making decision is not an easy job; rather say making a RIGHT decision is not easy. You very well know what you are, what you want. Known enough about the other person in front of you. Now how does it matter if a million ppl clog your mind?

Why is it so difficult to decide? Whey does pros and cons arise? Why do IFs and BUTs come in-between? Why does it keep getting harder? Why do priorities in life keep changing with TIME with AGE- ooooh, here may be the WISDOM gained with AGE plays its role taking away the leftover innocence away from you. Not good

Life becomes so miserable when this cloud of confusion sits right above your head. No where to go, no enthu to work, play, nothing is no fun. Even worse - can’t sleep at night, cant sleep in day. Insomnia sets in, all your life you wont know how NOT to fall asleep never ever you came across the stage when you cant fall asleep- not when you 1st fell in love, not when u fell in love again, not when you fell out of love, not when your dad caught you in another city as you went to meet your childhood sweetheart, not when you lose papers in engineering not at any stupid stage of your life before but NOW!!!
No wonder William James quotes - "There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision"

Life becomes so stagnant, like there is no way out from this situation- so lost, losing yourself with every clock tick. Damn hate it!! May be you have always been so spoon fed, now when everything is right there in your hand, you are shaking. Shaking with doubts/speculations/intuitions; seems like we have no simple problems and easy decisions after kindergarten. Just can’t believe that 1 decision would make or break the whole life which is ahead, where all the dreams, hopes, desires are concentrated. Say it the BEST or WORST part of it- the decision is in YOUR own hands.
I like the way Johann Wolfgang von Goethe says - “Each indecision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days... What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has magic, power, and genius in it"

YOU is ME honey :)

Friday, April 17, 2009

Lip$ that ta$te of tear$, they say..




















.. are BE$T of ki$$ing!!!!!!!!!!!

Tears are 1 of the best healing methods God has blessed all human beings with. It relives, it refreshes, it heals, and lightens the heavy pounding heart.
Baby, girl, boy, lady, man, who so ever it is – applies for all. People who deny, U bet are covering
themselves. “Tough men don’t cry” - thingy is a pure myth, in my personal experience itself I have seen MEN crying their heart out, and that really good, a natural cleaning process of both body and soul. I always appreciate things popping from nature’s lap, in its purest forms J and TEARS are so true, so real, so needed.

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts” ~Charles Dickens, Great Expectations, 1860.
We often CRY, tears in grief, tears in sadness, tears in agony, tears craving for happiness, tears when flunked in semester papers, tears at birth, tears at death, tears when circumstances overtake you, We do cry for friends, cry with friends, cry in love, cry when out of love, cry in loneliness, cry watching an emotional or patriotic movies – <“sleepless in Seattle”, “City of angels”, “Gladiator ”,“Rang de Basanti”>, cry listening to your MOST- CONNECTED song cry when things take a bizzare turn, cry when world doesn’t understand you, cry when hearts are broken (way too many too many times, and you very well know, you didn’t deserve that), cry to make yourself heard amidst the crowd, cry when you lose your favorite belongings , cry in helplessness, cry over a fight; an argument; in remorse; coz of vulnerability, cry in restlessness, cry even in sleep..

I was checking howstuffworks.com, there the purpose is narrated very beautifully - “A salty fluid chock full of protein,
water, mucus and oil is released from the lacrimal gland in the upper, outer region of your eye. This fluid, better known as tears, then flows down the surface of your eye, across your face and smears your MASCARA.” – targeting the gender :) yes we have super specialization in this and has become a birth right!! Antoine de Saint-Exupery, wonders “It is such a secret place, the land of tears” in The Little Prince. Yes, fortunately or unfortunately (– which I cannot judge on) it seems everlasting.. Meaning never ending!! I cant recollect at what stage of my ‘pretty’ life, I was devoid of Great teary scenes, childhood, teenage, youth.. And now what so ever am going thru!!

“To weep is to make less the depth of grief” ~William Shakespeare too agrees with me, in King Henry the Sixth :)

Other great quotes -
“Tears are summer showers to the soul” ~Alfred Austin.
“Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water” ~Antoine Rivarol
“Tearless grief bleeds inwardly” ~Christian Nevell Bovee
“The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears” ~John Vance Chene
“Let your tears come. Let them water your soul” ~Eileen Mayhew

Here is the best 1, I loved it
“Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion” ~Steel Magnolias

:) :)

Monday, April 6, 2009

HAppine$$ - 2

And there ends the happiness 1 fine day - Marriage Crap at HOME!!! arrrggghh
:( :( :( - to the powere infinity!!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

HAppine$$








Such a beautiful thing to talk about.. to write about..even to think about. For me, it falls under the category of 'Basic Needs' for any species not just homo sapiens.
It is so essential, like the whole purpose of our living, earning, struggles, challenges all we do is to be happy..rather put it in this way- the motive is to be satisfied in life, but satisfaction just wont do as it is so lame, doesn’t have any taste. Now we try to garnish it make it little sweet, a little tangy..a little interesting with few nicer things that make hearts sing, may be even dance - then the feeling attained by this whole process is 'happiness' laterzz can get awesome overwhelming, exotic ...... (No boundaries)....

But the problem is satisfaction cannot be sort so easily, it is difficult to be a 'satisfied soul' in many ways, so happiness obv becomes scarce :( so scarce that sometimes people forget that something like this even exists.. and get busy with the routine..they have been following from days, months, years.. Thats what I call, getting trapped in a Monotonous cage!! I have been there, and can take my word- It sucks bigtime.
"Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it " (- Jacques Prévert) because happiness is a form of courage, we gotta be happy and have to get it, as it is a birth right ;)

It is subjective, not objective as happiness is not confined to 1 thing, 1 person or 1 situation. As an ongoing process, day to day life I am sure there are more than the no. countable times 1 can be happy.. A few glimpses

>>1 of the least expected but fav song "Right here waiting for you" on radio while traveling in the bus
>>a sigh of compliment as you arrive, from a team mate seated beside for your attire
>>a very nice salad served at cafeteria
colleague coming up with a Cadbury just for you, and for no reason saying "hey dude, just like that" :)
>>a small appreciation phrase like 'Good catch' in the mail from client side
>>at last spotting a cute guy in the crowd, for the 1st time ;)
>>mail from an old friend after years saying he is in town
>>to receive a tiny but STUPID testimonial from 1 of the best buddies
>>usual phone talk with galy paly about the ex comp getting more juicier
>>casual talk with childhood sweetheart ending up in giggles about the crushes back in school
>>awesome view of the sunset, cool breeze blowing ya hair hay way on the terrace during snack break

>>some vague sudden plan by roommates to have a D-meet up with pals after office hours

to be continued ;)

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Lost lost & lost......

Damn, they say everything and anything has some limit.. But with me, losing things I see absolute no boundaries!!
Lost my 3rd cell phone on Feb15th- Here in B***** Bangalore!! Am sure this happened just to ruin my previous day and ofcourse.. it is still in progress. Am not able to sleep peacefully for so many more reasons, now this is bigtime adding on.I hate it when I lose something which is emotionally attached to ya heart. It is not about freakin money, can earn in a day or 2..a week or 2 but all those i had collected and stored it from past 2 years. wall papers, pics, images, messages, fav texts from a few 'SPECIAL' ppl all gone in less than 60 sec :( :( :(

My very 1st mobile- In my 1st office a few years ago, then in a rickshaw, again in a rick. How I wish I can get back that moment, because it was all about presence of mind- just that exact MOMENT!! Expecting my mobile back from the person who got it is like wishing pak HELPING India in 1 single way atleast!! It is an awkward situation in my ownself unexpalinable, or to jot it down here. To add on I recollect losing my calligraphy copy I had created all my hols after 12th at home, everybody were busy going for math-science classes and it was me who practiced calligraphy I lost it- Never found it. My fav shirt and few tops - cant figure out where these got hasseled out during shifting places, cities.Lost, never found it, all my mobile phones- all lost never found any, not even a slightest trace of it!Ofcourse many many more tiny/huge things not in my head as of now.

Viewing the flip side, I was fortunate enough to be with ppl who comforted me and got something better, feel obliged and gald too :) Thank GOD for that!! God aint that mean, though I often target him for all misfortunes... As when something bad happens, it is raining bad.. worse.. worst things on me, "MISFORTUNE seldom comes alone" huh?
I promise myself that I wont lose 'ANYTHING' anymore not in my Conscious mind, not unconsciously.. I shall win over this weakness and all others.. sooner no later Shall grow up to be a better person, a responsible 'LADY', for now am no more a baby(sad but true)I love me more than I ever loved anybody, I cant let myself go down :) Am the Best ;)

Just think how happy you would be if you get everything you lost from the time you realized it is yours..right now in a wink of an eye- I shall be no where but right on top of the world :)

Monday, February 9, 2009

~~~M@@D $W!NG$~~~




God knows, why does something like a 'MOOD' exist, like it was not just enough, to add on to the misery it 'SWING's too. Grrrrr Grrrrrrrrrr

Ya on a serious note, at times when am just there feeling on top of the world, may it be coz of shopping in Benetton, goodies from ma sis from the continent on the other side, may it be the most happening party with ma galy gang..or good Italian at El Fungo Magico..there the very next moment am thrown to a very dark, creepy, abyssal thoughts awakening some nasty unworth feelings from inside like tearing me apart into pieces un-countable :( Then I know I dont wanna be in my skin anymore, feels so dejected, neverthless to mention depressed. And I dont know why.. how.. who.. what!! Not a slightest clue.. either.. :(


“The heart loves, but moods have no loyalty. Moods should be heard but never danced to”- Who so ever said it, I cant agree better.What it is supposed to be "what it is".. Why does it only fakes it to be "what it is?" Past is past future would be future, dont understand why present gets screwed coz of past experiences and futurely perceptions. I always wanted to come back to Bengaluru from Pune, now that I am here, who cribbing day and night, yea feeling nostalgia :( SAD thing it is!! I browses a bit and found Owens Lee Pomeroy's quote

"Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect!" Gosh, I wonder how nostalgic he must have been to quote this so perfectly, he can be termed as the Father of nostalgia. Unfortunately am one of his beloved followers :(

I cant stop comparing Bang-Pune!! Each and every single glimpse that passes by has two flashes in ma head
1>Bang
2>Pune
I go there(Pune) I feel nice, great really amazing like never before but am aware of the fact that I DONT belong to that place anymore(Possibility- May be that is why I feel THAT great). Hmmm, mood swings from 1 end to the other farthest end leaving me so restless. I just wanna stop all this and start living- for what I am, not for what I was, or for what I am gonna be.
Conquering 1's own mood and keeping it IN CONTROL is 1 of the best acheivements I feel, coz it is atrociously difficult task!! Try it

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

New year.. New Hopes..New light


"Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go" - As if Brooks Atkinson wrote this for me!!Am so happy 2008 is over, all the pain, heartache is over - atleast am hoping its over!!


Yet another year passed by,plus 20 days added in LIFE basket; dont know what I have achieved,apart from my HUUUUUUUUGGGGGEEEE shopping investment all my working years. It was a transition for me from Pune to Bangalore- 'namma' Bengaluru..Am here with my soul filled with wishes and hopes for this year and ahead, coz 2009 is going to be a CRITICAL year for me, both personal and career prospective

Economy downrun, terror attacks,bomb blasts, scams, frauds - all this and more 2008 saw not that any other year didnt see, just that it was more gloomy than ever imagined :( No logic in liking the digits in '2009' still somehow I strongly feel this is better than the previous 1. Amen


I love celebrations - Eve was perfect, partied hard,was enough tipsy not to feel anything bad, had great food, was cold, was good!!Day was with ma lovely friends - surprises and dinner at itz best - Italian!!"All that begins well ends well"- They say; I hope this holds good even for period in between!!
"For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice.” - With no unaccomplishable resolutions made, even I have begun a NEW life.There are loadsa things queued up, gotta to be done in coming months.. indeed comin days..with no remorse of regrets have left my past looking at an amazing [:)] future .. am gonna end this note!!

Namaste, Friends.

  Namaste, Friends. Thank you for showing up on your mat. My name is Vasu, I will be guiding you thru your C1 practice today. This is YOUR p...