Wednesday, November 1, 2017

What is Yoga and why I do I practice Yoga?

Yoga – is/has been a very personal and highly spiritual path of my life.
Sure, I was fortunate enough be get an early exposure to this vibrant-magnificent cultural background where Yoga is indeed an integral unit of life – Not limited to just physical form (Hatha Yoga) –but with varied and expanding horizons of Devotion (Bhakti Yoga), Knowledge (Gnana Yoga), Selfless Action (Karma Yoga), and Self Discipline (Raja Yoga). There is 1hr Yoga practice between the four-corners of my mat where I (my soul) come in alignment with the beautiful mind-body through this incredible life force of Prana, and then rest of the day is my best effort to flow in continuity of this sacred trilogy.

There was an inexplicable awareness when I first dived deep into Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras amidst the snow capped mountains during spring of 2015, am deeply moved ever since by the very philosophy of yoga, where we follow 8 limbs to attain the ultimate super-conscious state (Samadhi).  It comes as no great surprise as we heard these stories from great sages from time immemorial. The challenges NOW with ever changing world, me being an Engineer of this modern day, there is a constant push and pull between the logical mind and esoteric aspects of the heart. Yoga has helped me immensely in dealing with 8-hr job high-tech job with stressful deadlines, yet open up to the possibilities of what rest of the hours can offer in a day. It has been a heart opening venture ensuring to sustain an open mind to all that what is and what can be.

Coming to the physical aspect of Yoga, sure - very famous “whys” are detoxification, rejuvenation, flexibility. Well they are just for starters, furthermore, setting Intentions (Sankalpa) before the practice has helped me through few hard phases and tough situations off the mat. There has been a profound effect on my conscious and subconscious mind, has helped me elevate in Love, compassion and Vulnerability. I fondly remember a powerful class where a beautiful teacher guided us to set an intention to feel vulnerable. There was a gentle Vinyasa flow with the movement of my body, and the flow of emotions I encountered in my heart. Finally towards the surrendering series, as the Asanas were designed to surrender so did everything else in me. Before I knew it, tears were running down my cheeks, those breaths in pigeon pose made me realize vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness, but of strength, to allow your own self to be vulnerable and completely accept and acknowledge it, was ahhh exhilarating! I finished the class feeling much stronger yet feeling lighter. This is just one instant of many such many little awakenings I have experienced during yoga from the high Himalayan ranges to the beaches of sunny San Diego.

So, why do I do practice Yoga?
It is bliss, it is passion. For someone like me who is “an all-in or none” kind of a person, Yoga is balance, the very sanity required to witness and enjoy the abundant craziness all around. 
I practice yoga, to “Namaste” and feel it with the people within my sight and beyond. 
I practice Yoga to feel the calmness, reach stillness that the whole Universe (inside-outside) is made up of. 
I practice Yoga to love, to connect, to unite my soul with the other soul
I practice Yoga to be, just be.

--- Yogah Citta Vrtti Nirodah, Yoga Sutra 1.2
PS: I was asked to write this, I need to go forward, need to focus on anything but the thing I am focusing on NOW. So I wrote, so I write...

Monday, August 28, 2017

"stumbling upon" a conversation

a soul. “May I ask you one thing?” Curiosity in his eye. 

v. “Yes, of course.” came the reply. Biologically called response to the stimuli  

a soul. “What are you people made up of?” shoots the question

v. "Oh, that, you may be surprised, but it is still flesh and bone" answers entertainingly

a soul. “No, seriously, what are you people made up of?” in a real intense serious tone 

v. “What, I am sorry. Ummmm, I don’t seem to understand the context with which you are asking me something like that.
    I am just here for….” didn’t finish the sentence

a soul. “haha” display of his frolic mood

v. stares

a soul. “I have been traveling for 17 years now, and I first set out when I was about 17. Journeyed with little or no money many    a times. Started off with the famous Europe tour for obvious reasons at that age” laughs. Then a pause.

v. was getting a hang of it, all ears

a soul. “ Then, Australia, returned back home for a few months. Chronologically, next was South America, Expedition to Antartica, Asia. In Asia - Dubai, Thailand, Malaysia, Cambodia, China, Japan, well I can keep naming them, but I am sure you know them better than I do. In-between, there was this time, when I liked to stay longer in a certain country, but my Visa wouldn’t let me do so. The easiest way to do it was to travel to another country and return to where I was. I will spare you the details, so this special “help” came form a country called INDIA.”

v. eyes sparkle now.

a soul.  “ I stepped into the country, and all my desires to travel elsewhere ceased to exist. Sure, for a few weeks, initial months, I was just a long headed foreigner getting all attention, with all eyes on me, I did and felt exactly how any white skinned will. Then slowly, an unknown delight started to sprout, from one state to another I wandered, from home to home, language, cuisine, terrain, culture, attire, flora-fauna all so diverse, it awestruck me. Before I know I was in my most exalted state, at the heights of my thirst to learn, know more, listen to as many people, versions of never-exhausting stories, myths, ancient science, the ruins, histories, scriptures, if this is not enlightening, I don’t know what is”

v. “Ah! Thats incredible. Makes me so happy, really happy to hear that” in awe of all that ears had listened to

a soul. "What is that land made up of? I kept going back, again and again and again, I just can’t get enough of it. Mind you, I was remotely or near to 'not' spiritual when I first landed there. Now I am yet to gauge how far or how behind I am for being tagged."

v. “haha” then a silent thought inside the head “ wow, my tribe, no label person”

a soul. “Women drapped colorfully from top to bottom, skin with a fine brown glow, hair black, the way it supposed to be. How did you guys get it all so perfect? Your ancestors have cracked the codes, which modern technology with take another few centuries to prove it. Beauty is in the simplicity and honesty of the people of the remotest villages living out of minimum wages alongside the dark mountains., yet so joyful. I can’t begin to speak of the hospitality and love I have received from 100s of families, in the form of their words, food and respect they offered. So I ask, What are you guys made up of?”

v. Blush. Blush. Blush. Shy. Smile. (“It is scarcely possible for an Indian to pale” ~ quote from Autobiography of a Yogi

a soul. “ I repeat, I keep going back, as I am not allowed to stay permanently, at least not legally yet in your country. There are many ways to get this done, and the best possible one happens to be my favorite one- is to marry a beautiful Indian Girl”

v. “hahahahahhahahhaha hahhahahahahhaha” laughs uncontrollably
    “Sure, I want to wish you all the best”

a soul. “Thanks, so, when are you returning to your country? Would it be anytime sooner, perhaps in a few years? Here you go, this is my contact, just email me anytime you go back. You don’t need to think about it now, of whats and wheres, just save the card, keep a photo of this somewhere. That is all for now.”

v. “Well, I am …..” still filling in the blanks.

a soul. brushes through softly, walks forward. "Thanks for being here, I am A.... Pleasure to meet you here, will see you soon"
Then turns back, and winks… ;) with a smirk.

v. non-approving looks coupled with a hint of that gentle blush. No more words, looks at the person.. as he disappears into thin air.

Thursday, August 24, 2017


I am in a “mixed” reminiscence, I typed “sweet” without no quotes, but I am getting to it, so righteously replaced it. An array of colorful memoirs, sure white & black, shades of grey, along came magical, and some mystical colors too.

Exactly, 2 years ago, past twilight, it was a warm night of Aug 24th, I landed in the Sunshine city, flying over San Diego oceans.
Recently, I caught myself pondering over all events from teeny weeny frivolous ones to life-altering, momentous ones (ones, twos, threes..) And how even, if there was a hairline difference in any – may it be a specific timing, may it be a particular conversation, project, city, company, friend, yoga, how my path would have got digressed, I wouldn’t have reached where I am right now.
That being said, no matter which geographical location I would have been living, I am 100% sure to have been taught many splendid lessons for I am NOT the experienced, but indeed, the experiencer.

Looking outside the window, head pressed against the chair, tall trees on a bright day, eyes shift their gaze from monitors, to Krshna, to greenery outside, to blue skies beyond, sunshine piercing thru the branches, wind fluttering those leaves, there is a gentle sway in the present, then softly eyelids shut that hazy gaze. Now I see a kaleidoscope – see the sights, occasions, people, circumstances’, feel the feelings, heart is pounding, mind is racing –
Of all the gross and subtle feelings, gratitude fills me the most, am ever more so thankful the Universe, to humans, to love, to my Motherland, to this Foreign land, to sunshine in California, to my lovely freedom, to whiffs and sighs of spring-summer-fall-winter(s) 
It has been quite a ride!

Within days, will be crossing an epic 800d mark, on these soils, what is the unfamiliarity? I find a tender exotic thrill in the uncertainty, multitudinous thoughts in varied layers seeping inside the mind, did I believe my dreams changed?Little did I know, the dream is the same, only the path to tread is different, perhaps a more joyful one, for I choose happiness these days. An elderly women asked me- Now what are your plans?  3 months, a year, 3, 5, 8, 14… years from now, regardless of how and what I answered there, I know I will exactly be where I have to, doing what I am supposed to. It is said, without being tossed and turned around nobody comes closer to the truth, even the Elixer of life was produced by churning of the ocean of milk by Gods and Demons. When there is no resistance for this very moment, we take a step closer to ultimate state called – Satchidananda.

Sat- Highest truth
Chit – Pure Consciousness
Ananda – Ultimate blissful state

My learning-unlearning continues, so does letting go of the conditioned mind. I’ve recently witnessed skin-encapsulated ego take its ugliest form, making somebody with a beautiful soul look unbearably heinous,
And during adversity, quiver like a little rat lost in the darkness. Now I ask myself,

What is driving this ego?
What is being a Yogi mean?
What is the point of doing physical Yoga postures, like a machine for about 2 decades if you cant even stand being plainly truthful?
How did it take me all this time to love the truth, like I do now?
If everything is Maya (illusion) what and when will we find the reality?
What am I?
Who I am?
Now, What should “I” be proud of?  
Well, the Qs are endless, so are the possibilities, salty kisses and sandy toes, sunrise and sunsets, clear blue and June gloom, mysteries and miracles, they stretch from eternity to eternity and the T.I.M.E here is just a little pie. Effort is to make it pretty, tasty and purposeful :)

Q: It nearly never happens, and can happen in any split of a second, as the thought never seem to leave me (yet) – So, I ask - Where would you go if you know you only had 3 days to live, in this lifetime?

A: For me, if I have to leave tonight (abruptly or otherwise) or for what-so-ever reason, or for those last 3 days, I know the place, I know me, I know the way (rather say I know how to find a way :)).
I will book a one-way ticket, fly for a night and a day. Will be gone, without a whiff – no phone calls, no long good-bye emails (Ah, not spamming Broadcom inboxes this time), no messages/texts, no letters, no social media, no email accounts, I’d carry a BIG smile along with heart full of unconditional love and set-off…

I was asked-
What's the color of your eye?
What's the color of your skin?
What's the color of your hair?

I said, tell me-
What's the color of your soul?
What's the color of your feeling?
What's the color of your thought?

The dance of life, swayed in eternal spring, splashed with the colors inside-outside.
Ask not what's your color, but where's your color.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017


What an Auspicious day? Aren’t all days auspicious ‘coz we are ALIVE?

Raksha Bandhan – 

For the first time, somebody wished me for Rakhi, for a brother, sister inside of me, and to me. So, thrilled, how a new dawn never ceases to amaze me, for it carries this tender scent of freshness coupled with excitement.
I wished back, this wish extending not just to a brother, a sister, but to all the brothers and sisters of this big beautiful world.
How these customs are carried out, legend has it – when Krishna killed one of evil kings, Sisupala, He hurt his finger. As Draupadi witnessed this, her heart melted, she tore a piece of fabric from her beautiful saree and tied it around Krishna’s finger to stop the bleeding. It is her “Raksha” towards a brother, which forms a “Bandhan” and we ritualistically follow this, and the beatitude is so much in the intention set while tying this holy thread. I love all* festivals (*well, almost all)

Balarama Happy Birthday-

As I am in immense consciousness, I know a few occasions nowadays. Being born as Lakshmana and Rama, in the previous lifetime, the younger brother Lakshamana, requested Rama that he would allow him to incarnate as a respectful elder brother in the next lifetime, as he was mighty tired of being tossed around in the current one. So of course compassionate Rama obliged then Balarama was born on the full moon of divine Shravana month. Krishna followed, 8 days (1 year and 8 days?) later on Ashtami day, what joy and what celebration.

I learnt that the elder brother is known as an all accommodating potency, an extension of the supreme personality Himself. So many stories of Krishna playing his leelas, while his brother committed to protect the younger one, always looking after him, cleaning up the mess. A splendid episode of Rukmini and Krishna - even amidst tight security guarded by a huge army of Vidarbha kingdom, Krishna, with his impeccable timing, crashes the party oh-so-majestically, sweeps Rukmini off her feet into his arms leaving all spectators spellbound in awe. While Rukmini is mesmerized, stares into the iris of her lover's eye, the celestial chariot rides the new bride... into the rainbowed horizon of a paradise. All that Krishna had to do was to "come get her" everything else was taken care.

Krishna participating in "come get me" moment of Rukmini           
Festivals, celebrations, occasions, I just want to rejoice each day and each night - I went for my shatapawali, the night one. Full moon was beaming so bright and I immediately tap into that soul-feeling of being whole. He brings to me an unspeakable bliss, as I bathe all night under the moon-shine. Moon light piercing thru the windows, thru the bamboo curtains, right onto my skin, into my being. Sometimes words fail to convey the exactitude of the emotions, some feelings literally have to be felt to feel it.

Someday, some night, would sleep in the back-yard, 
or camp somewhere atop of those sacred snowy white mountains, 
basking in that stillness, 
gaze at a gazillion stars of the milky way,
Then I will be aware of this insomniac surrendering to the euphoric outward gaze
and an intoxicated ecstasy from an intimate inward gaze.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Desire and Destiny

“Bring in your deepest desire in front of you, stare at it, stare right into it. 
Breath in, hold, hold, hold, and out Aaah. 
Desire -> Intention -> Will -> Destiny.

How would you direct your intentions, your will, towards your desire if you are not what you are defined to be.
Forget that you are a daughter, a son, a sister, a brother, a mother, a father.
Become it, become your desire.
You are your desire.
Following your truest, noblest desires leads you to your destiny”

My eye gaze at, into my deepest desire, without no eyes opened, in Samashiti. I shift my gaze to the world outside. We flow, a mind-blowing flow for 60m. So gentle, as though we were gliding in honey, the nectar, with minimum thoughts, if any all towards the Destiny, the Dharma as we call it. Monika, came down to take a special LOVE Class in South Bay, it was concluded by an authentic Namaste. She asks, “ Did anybody notice these words? From where I got inspired? These words are from?”, I gently raise my hand and nod yes, she smiles. 21 Day meditation Challenge, written in the most ancient scriptures ever known to the mankind – Upanishads, She talks her talk. Then encourages to go give a biggest hug to someone around or elsewhere and reminds us - “Know that you have come home to your desire!”

She gets up, walks, sees me in front, right in front of her, am gleaming, probably shining out of every single pore of my organic brown skin, Hugs me like I know a hug to be like. I hold her back, so tight. Aw! Days and nights, morning and evenings, and here, life reaches its perennial zenith – all it takes is one wink from the "NOW". Here I quote “ The flux of Human ♥ heart ♥ is gone forever in transfixing touch of Pure Love ” ~ Autobiography of a Yogi.

Gaze into the eternity - Hetch Hetchy Valley in Yosemite National Park

I am a lover, and a firm believer in Gurus. 
Copied this from www-
‘Gu (गु) refers to darkness assuming the form of ignorance and 
ru (रु) to the radiance in the form of spiritual knowledge, which dispels this darkness
Thus the Guru is the one who dispels the darkness of ignorance. 
Oprah and Deepak, with their soul-loving meditations, have become one of my most adorable ones. Somebody once introduced me to these 21-day Meditation Challenge,
And ever since I glow with that radiance. Not sure how the Universe knows, and I have always got profound help and transformation when I needed the most. A few times, through their themes/challenges (however they term it as)

-       Become what you believe
-       Getting unstuck: Creating a limitless life
-       Creating peace from inside out: The power of connection
-       Hope in uncertain times
-       Desire and Destiny

I have had many and this journey continues too. I am in love with my kismet and my karma, they say follow your heart, the passion and it will lead you to where you always belonged.
One of the books from Deepak - Synchrodestiny talks about how the Gods and Goddesses are in an embryo form, waiting for us to awaken them. I am so in-tune with this notion, even when I was a little girl. Now, I am diving more into Vedanta, these days, I am athrilled in learning how effortlessly Advaita appraises non-dualistic nature, Universal consciousness is no different from self-consciousness. Not one is limited, but are infinite stretching to eternity on both sides. In simple words, what is inside is exactly what you see outside. Mantra is  “Aham Brahmasmi” - I am the creator of my own destiny. So why restrict ourselves to be finite? Sure, the body is, the mind is, in a relative time-space-matter dimension  but the spirit is absolute, why not realize that? In the miracle of life - Heartbeat is the first thing which is formed in a mother’s womb, everything else develops around that very heart, all parts including the brain, to make a tiny human -Isn’t it the God's way of telling us to follow the heart? Why do we have to turn it around as we grow up?
Oh well, we have intellect and in it being exercised is the basis of today’s society.
Oh well, mind has its reasons.
Oh well, we have our excuses.

I am reading, Earnest Becker’s Denial of Death, he writes the below on why romantic relationships fail- 
“ How can a human being be a god-like "everything" to another? No human relationship can bear the burden of godhood, and the attempt has to take its toll in some way on both parties.
The reasons are not far to seek. The thing that makes God the perfect spiritual object is precisely that he is abstract—as Hegel saw”

Here I think to myself, if every human being knows and realizes that they are already infinite and whole, then where is the question of one being a burden to another? You do you, I do me, in that state when 2 come together, it cannot be any lesser than sheer magic. 

I am my desire.
I believe in magic.

Friday, July 14, 2017


Feeling vulnerable, again.
Perhaps, this happens a lot with open , and these days, I have vowed to myself, no matter what, I should keep her open. Well, it took a life time to reach here, I don’t want it to be any other way.

Restlessness, gushing like Goddess Ganga when she first cascaded down on to the earth with Rishi Bhagiratha’s wish – Wild, erratic, un-stoppable, with her primitiveness lashing out, swaying, dancing, then came Shiva. He tied her with his dreadlocks to tame her. Tell me, what would humble me?

This mind. (- Advaita)
This body.
This heart. (- Anahata Nad)
This consciousness.

Everything is elsewhere, somewhere between that eternal spring and the heat that sets me ablaze, 
making me - AFLAME.

Where am I? Exactly where I supposed to be, alas! But physically I am here. What is there for me here? Am Absent.
I *thought* I could hold it together, then came new moon, Buddha Purnima (May, 2017) received a message, then Guru Purnima  - last Saturday(July, 2017). What is this energy? Why? How will I deal with it? Again, and again and again? What I am seeking is seeking me, says Rumi. I love the Mystic. I love his drunken words, making an eloquent poem. Now God, I ask - Help me. Guide me, So that I could save me, rescue me.
what I resist, comes back stronger a 1000000 times. I resist that too, but this... I haven't learnt it all. I am learning – "I am THAT, I am". For now, I am still…not THAT.

I am yearning to become aware of this moment as each second is being witnessed.
I am not the thinker of the thoughts, If I am, I’d know what my next thought would be/should be.

My Heart is on Fire, My love.
What do you want me to do?

Friday, July 7, 2017

The Journey... continues

<<< Nothing stops. heartbeats.. sunshine.. azure blue skies.. so does the journey.. continues...>>>

#5. Everything in this materialistic world changes –, to experience this is to become synonymous with it, with no (or least) resistance. Paradoxically, change is the only thing that is constant in the world.
If people don’t adapt, they cease to exist. Ultimately, the choice is always yours, you want to keep striving or thrive in the joy of limitlessness. An open heart brings to you innate bliss even in completely un-expected situations –
I found something in amazement during a bike ride to the ATM with a Yogi Swami, after a blissful Yoga as the sun rise over Holy Ganga. We rode through the dark, tiny gallis of Kashi, at the day break, I found out that people living in the most chaotic city I’ve seen are also the happiest. As he told me the stories, I basked in wonderment, smiled so big in the marvels of life's teachings.

#6.Once while conversing with somebody, topic of regret popped and when questioned, I did confide that I regretted a few blunders, if given a chance, sure I will opt differently.
With all the fire that is burning to cause this transformation in day-to-day life, I will NOT do the same mistakes, for there any lot many varieties to try. It is absolutely great that some don’t have any.
Adding on to me “regret-list” , here is the ONLY predicament I regret from this righteous journey - Never to come back with empty bags, from my country to a foreign land, more-so when you are making a living across the oceans.
Ah, worst feeling. Not doing it again. Ever.

#7. If you want to feel home, no matter amidst which aestheticism you are in, then probably you should never get out of those 4 walls of your own home’s sophistication. You may choose to never leave the street, or the people you live with, because while you go across the continents, be the seer of the vibrant colors, in awe with the culture, and perhaps culture shocks. Just witness it all, there is nothing to lose in that. No hard-work required for that. It is OKAY to fall sick and get over it, it is OKAY to get out of the familiarity once – try, I promise, you won’t die :)

#8. The color of your skin, bank balance, currency you earn in, property you own elsewhere, car you drive, the family name you hold, or getting attention of commuters with a few selfies –
NOTHING, really, none of the above or any of the above said or unsaid, is your ticket to turn into a complete ***hole or even a squeaky *****
Please try to respect the rituals, locals, for you are a tourist for a day/week/month. It is no rocket science, but common sense.

#9. “A fish out of water” - No better expression than this for people who just cannot be “connected”. Ha! I must say, disconnected from the technological paramount - Wi-Fi. What is this urge to be so intertwined with high tech world? I call it “Electronika” it is supposed to enhance human interaction, now the question arises - Who is the Master, who is slave? I am NOT against it, for I earn my bread through the same technical rage, I absolutely agree, it is necessary to plan, to keep in touch and internet is the way, well not the ONLY way, but the best way, apart from that can’t we just be connected to physical environment around, which is so visible to the naked eye? There is no need to greet people with “what is the Wi-Fi password” at every restaurant, every place you check-in :)

You are as connected as you think you are;
and as disconnected as you think you are. 
Both are right.
#10. All my life, my parents and siblings have complained about me being so detached from the family – But as a great person told me, “A person will only change when he/she wants to change” I am so glad I did, and while in south, journeyed farther to see my Grandpa, not because I had to, but I soooo wanted to. He and I had a stirring conversation, whole village was present in that, laughing, giggling, even blushing. Me in my madness and he in his late 90’s, just a year shy of 100 :) This is the best encounters I’ve had for as long as my memory runs- visiting my dad’s native village, all the paternal cousins, Aunts, Uncles. Spent the whole morning, and noon, feeling so high and that profound sense of belonging. Somebody’s words kept resonating as I returned in the cab, with another wonderful cab-driver. Words.. “Vasu, You Belong.. You so belong, Vasu…”

#11. When traveling in a group/companion, please communicate. There is a very good reason why we all are blessed with voice. Talk, speak the words and mean it which you speak it. I call it “raw”. Be raw, nothing beats the truth and the directness, it saves a lot of unwanted torture, for the other to decode every single polished opinion.

#12. Open heart and an open mind – So much said and written on this.

#13. Be Present. Please.
After-all, weren't we supposed to go back to your everydayness, to be jaded in the mediocrity!?
So let's love, live, laugh as much as we can while we can.


What is Yoga and why I do I practice Yoga?

Yoga – is/has been a very personal and highly spiritual path of my life. Sure, I was fortunate enough be get an early exposure to this ...